Simple Ways to Prevent A Family Feud After You Die

We like to think it will never happen…

A family member dies and those that were left behind start fighting over the assets and belongings.

Now, the death of a family member is hard enough without the added stress that comes from fighting with those you love but without a solid plan for distributing your assets, fighting is almost a guarantee.

This allows your family to deal with the grief of loss instead of bickering over who gets what.

For starters, you may want to start to give away some items now. Be it things you no longer use or items that have special sentimental meaning, giving those to a family member or friend as a gift removes any doubt of your intentions for that item.

Gifting allows you to witness their joy of getting the present, a memory you wouldn’t get to experience otherwise. A special necklace to your daughter or daughter-in-law for example, would allow you to share a special moment and you can take comfort knowing that that necklace is right where it should be.

If you’re not sure who should get what, ask. Talk to your family and close friends about what possessions they might like. At first, this may be a difficult conversation and they might be reluctant to share their wishes but once they understand how important it is to you, most people will quickly come around. Explain that it would make you happy to make sure that your favorite things be left to someone who would enjoy them as much as you did. You might be very surprised that you are not aware of an item having a very special meaning to someone close to you.

If you’re not ready to give the item away just yet, write down who you’d like to have it after you’re gone. Just telling someone that you want them to have your silk scarf isn’t going to work – there’s bound to be some disagreement down the road. Your best bet is to make a list that includes both the intended recipient and a detailed description of the item intended. Use as much description as possible, such as the clear crystal vase with pink and blue swirls.

If you can, attach pictures to your list. See if a family member has a digital camera and would want to do with you. You might be surprised to find that a nephew or niece has an interest in photography and would love to help. Use the images to document your list and then update it when needed.

Once you’ve completed the list, get it notarized and ask your attorney to make it part of your will. Be sure to provide an updated copy of the list if things change.

With just a little planning, you can help your family stay together through a difficult time.

Paul Kraft is co-founder and administrative principal of Frank & Kraft, one of the leading law firms in Indiana in the area of estate planning as well as business and tax planning. For more information on estate planning, visit us online.